I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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