We need to rekindle our bromance
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
