I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
