Do you still have your period?
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
