so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
