found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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