I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
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