"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
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