The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Randomize
