either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Randomize
