The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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