he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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