i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
