I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
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