I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
This baby is an asshole
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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