I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
God, you're like boner-b-gone
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
