I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
