Whats the glycemic index on semen?
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
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