see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Randomize
