i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
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Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
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I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
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