I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
And then he peed in my hair
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