The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
