I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Randomize
