Kiss
Puke
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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