you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
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Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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