Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Fuck now we have to have sex
In a bet, need to win
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".