yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
