Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize