My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
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