I feel like I'm in dance class right now
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
