Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Randomize
