if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
