well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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