Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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