Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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