i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
