I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
