I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
