you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I still have a little drunk in my system
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
