well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
