it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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