I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
