Life is so much better after having sex.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize