He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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