Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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