I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
