Me. At least after what I've been through.
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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