so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Randomize