I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
