I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
