i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize