please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
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