my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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