Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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