It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
