Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize