do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Randomize
