I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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