Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
