So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
