I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
