I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
PANTIES FOUND
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