She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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