I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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