that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize