I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
