So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
