Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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