At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
